Monday, April 27, 2009
27 de abril del año 2009
Ok today was quite boring, went to poly our first lesson was a lecture, i think most of the people slept hahas.
In the tutorials and lab sessions i felt so invisible because i felt like almost everyone was ignoring me T_T.
Haiz don't know if its me or not. Maybe I have BPD. I felt so sad the entire day. Maybe it is me, maybe I am going crazy. Can't seem to tell the line that seperates reality from imagination. The line seems vague now, but the world still seems as dark as the day i opened my eyes. Everyone has that special someone to turn to, like corst and his gf, anson and his gf and so on... Wonder if i'll ever find mine. Maybe i am destined to be alone forever, should this be my burden, so be it, i will never allow another person to carry such a burden as mine. Tch... ought to seriously go seek a counsillor hahas. I'm seriously losing it, my depression may be coming back again. Haha wondered how i dealt with it for the past 6 years. The path i walk on is thinning out, so i guess i will create my own path. Its getting late, don't even think anyone reads this. Gonna try to turn in without lullaby-ing myself to sleep again. Each passing day seems harder and harder for me.
kingdomhearts<3
posted@8:44 AM
Friday, April 24, 2009
Haiz don't know how to feel right now. Feeling so weird,
כמו בחשיכה של הלב שלי הוא רק ידיד שלי,
וכי הוא יהיה החבר היחיד שלי.
kingdomhearts<3
posted@8:15 AM
24 de abril del año 2009
Current Thoughts: האם אני מוצא את זה מישהו
Currently feeling: אני בחשיכה
Ok back from Edward house, we were celebrating all our classmates birthday who had their birthday in april ( Huxley, Kai Rong and Chapman) Haha, i remember that in secondary school, no one in my class could remember my birthday. Come to think of it i think i was invisible ( I could slip in and out of class stuff so long the teacher was not there hahas. It was like no one in class really noticed me.)
Ok so straight after our classes at 11am (yes we are like one of the few classes who are released at this time in poly...) we went to koufu to eat ( we ate it yesterday too). I tried the bubble tea at the south canteen. Dun see the diff between the bubble tea there and near mcdonalds. I still prefer my teh tarik haha. Afterwards we went to hougang point (stalling for the people who are preparing the birthday stuff like decorations and such). Nothing much in there and we were walking around aimlessly in there. Thanks to Ranjit for letting me try his blackcurrent and alcohol mix. It tasted like ribena except for a slight bitter taste. 5 of us were laughing cos they paid $18 for a bottle of ribena.
Reached Edwards' house and played games. I didn't like the games much just played. The last time i went to a birthday party was in the april of 2008 for a classmates birthday. Don't know why i even went for it. I felt so outcast. Then i again i still feel outcast. Forever diffenrent never the same, such is a curse i carry i guess. At around 2.30pm, we went to the function room to sing karaoke and play pool. We played pool until most of the class went to play basketball. When they did so we went and sang english songs ( I think i sang my heart out haha).
Me, Brian, Corstiaan,Syuhaimi, Ee Yang and Ranjit (The Legendary 6!) went home at about 7.30pm. I took the train back to Woodlands myself and had dinner by myself. Haha, kinda reminds me secondary school life, i always had dinner by myself. Reached home at about 915pm. Haiz i wonder if anyone will even read my blog since it has been dead for quite some time haha.
kingdomhearts<3
posted@7:33 AM
הִתחַיוּת
O lvl results: L1R5: 15( T_T such crappy results)
L1R4: 11
Currently playing: RA3: uprising
Granado Espada
kingdomhearts<3
posted@7:27 AM